""What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~Don Miguel Ruiz For most of my life, I didn't fully understand what projection was. I just knew I kept becoming the problem. I was "too much." Too intense. Too emotional. Thought too deeply. Spoke too plainly."
"But I slowly realized: the shadow is where the gold lives. It's the part of us we disown-but it's also the most authentic expression of who we really are. As a little girl, I was naive and blunt in the way that children often are. I remember saying I didn't want to share the toys I'd just received for my birthday. My stepmother called me spoiled. But I wasn't being selfish-I was just being honest. The toys were mine."
"I think, deep down, my stepmother felt she was always sharing my father-with his past, with his pot-smoking, drug-dealing friends-and there wasn't much left over for anyone else. Adding me into the equation was one more person who might "take" him from her. And when I voiced a desire to keep something all to myself, it reflected something she couldn't have: all of him."
Projection leads others to label and punish honest expression because those expressions mirror their own unresolved pain. Childhood bluntness and authenticity can trigger caretakers who feel deprived or threatened, causing them to project insecurity as accusations of selfishness. Shadow work reveals disowned parts that hold authenticity and value rather than being merely broken. Repeated experiences of projection teach withdrawal and self-silencing to avoid punishment. Healing requires recognizing when blame reflects another's internal reality, reclaiming disowned parts, and refusing to be defined by others' projections so authentic expression can return.
Read at Tiny Buddha
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