Psychology says people who seem genuinely happy aren't people who have more - they're people who stopped measuring what they have against what they imagined they should have by now - Silicon Canals

"The imagined life tends to involve having arrived somewhere by now. Owning something. Having earned something. Being a recognizable version of the person you intended to become."

"What research on happiness consistently finds is that the people who seem genuinely at ease with their lives are not people who have more. They are people who have largely stopped running this comparison."

"The theory identifies three versions of the self that people carry simultaneously: the actual self, the ideal self, and the ought self. When the actual self matches the ideal self, people experience happiness and satisfaction."

"When there is a significant gap between the actual self and ideal self, people experience dejection, disappointment, and a chronic sense of falling short."

An imagined version of life, shaped by societal expectations and personal aspirations, often leads to feelings of inadequacy. This version evolves with age, creating a moving target for success. Research indicates that genuine happiness is found not in achieving more but in ceasing the comparison to this ideal. Psychologist E. Tory Higgins' self-discrepancy theory outlines three selves: actual, ideal, and ought. Happiness arises when the actual self aligns with the ideal self, while gaps between them lead to emotional distress.

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