In Defense of the Try-Hard

"The limits of a chronic and desperate need for control, the unwillingness to seriously consider alternative perspectives, and the frenzied attempts to ward off rejection are, hopefully, fairly obvious to those of you who consistently read my work. While we should try our best to remain tethered to reality and its actual possibilities, there are elements of perfectionism and obsessiveness, broadly, that can be helpful and, more importantly, meaningful. It depends on how they're used and the underlying desires supporting them."

"To the contrary, there's something beautiful about perfectionism, which can be equally annoying. An unwillingness to accept defeat and the so-called "try-hard" personality clash with a culture that spotlights aloofness. It feels corny to love anything and to gush over it, especially if it isn't in vogue. So, too often, the try-hard perfectionist only focuses on pursuits to win people over, to increase their popularity."

Perfectionism often carries drawbacks such as excessive control, rigidity, and fear of rejection, but some aspects can be useful and meaningful depending on intent. Persistent effort, passion, and obsessiveness can produce valuable outcomes when motivated by genuine care rather than status. Genuine authenticity, consistency, loyalty, and love can transform perfectionistic striving into a redeemable force. Conversely, trying hard becomes repugnant when it relies on deception or pursuing status at any moral cost. Cultural preference for aloofness stigmatizes visible enthusiasm, pushing try-hards to perform effortlessness rather than show true caring.

Read at Psychology Today