How Do You Get to Know Yourself Better?

"Self-knowledge is the degree to which a person's self-views match what she or he is actually like. However, we regularly hold distorted perceptions of our own actions, motives, and character traits. Inaccurate self-knowledge leads to poor choices and relationship friction, and learning. For example, overconfidence can be damaging to people's reputations if discovered. Self-enhancers make a positive first impression, but they come to be seen negatively after repeated interactions. When people misrepresent themselves or present themselves in out-of-character ways to impress an audience, the behavior is unnatural and exhausting."

"Self-knowledge is a valuable trait. To know yourself would be to know such things as your deepest thoughts, desires, and emotions; your values; what makes you happy; what career to choose; and why you do the things you do (Green, 2017). Understanding oneself means accepting one's limitations, a crucial step for overcoming or embracing them. Albert Einstein suggested that self-knowledge gives us the freedom to change: "Once we accept our limits, we [can] go beyond them.""

"Research suggests two paths for learning about the self: looking inward (e.g., introspection) and looking outward (e.g., feedback). The first path suggests that the self is the best source of information about what a person is like. Our patterns of thoughts, feelings, and desires all occur within our own minds and are not directly observable to others. No one else could observe everything we do. Thus, it makes sense to presume that reflecting on our thoughts and actions should lead to self-discovery."

Self-knowledge is the match between self-views and actual traits, yet people often hold distorted perceptions of their actions, motives, and character. Inaccurate self-knowledge can lead to poor decisions and relationship friction. Overconfidence can harm reputations when discovered, and self-enhancing behavior may create a good first impression but later be judged negatively. Misrepresenting oneself to impress others can feel unnatural and exhausting. Self-knowledge involves knowing deepest thoughts, desires, emotions, values, what brings happiness, and why actions occur, while also accepting limitations. Learning about the self can come from introspection and from feedback from others, since others can notice patterns a person cannot directly observe.

Read at Psychology Today