Research says the reason most people never change their lives isn't fear of failure - it's that they've spent so long performing a version of themselves for other people that they genuinely can't tell anymore which desires are actually theirs - Silicon Canals

"The deepest layer is something quieter and harder to name. It is the realization, which most people never quite arrive at consciously, that they have been performing a version of themselves for so long that they no longer know which parts are real."

"You learn that certain versions of you get rewarded and others get ignored or punished. You get attention for being responsible, so you become responsible. You get approval for being agreeable, so you become agreeable."

"Self-determination theory identifies a continuum of motivation ranging from fully external to identified and integrated, emphasizing that introjected motivation feels internal but is not actually autonomous."

People often remain stuck due to fear, but a deeper issue is the loss of connection with their true selves. Over time, individuals learn to present versions of themselves that gain approval, leading to a detachment from their genuine desires. This process begins early in life, where socialization rewards certain behaviors, causing a gradual shift away from authentic self-expression. Self-determination theory explains this phenomenon, highlighting the difference between external motivations and those that genuinely reflect one's identity.

Read at Silicon Canals