"As an academic, helping professional, and mom, I used to say yes to almost everything that was asked of me. It felt like the "successful" thing to do. It was how I demonstrated that I was hardworking, capable, and willing to go above and beyond. It was also fear-based. If I said "no" to an opportunity, it would go to someone else and I might lose my edge."
"But if you're anything like me, your vision of success when you first started out didn't involve bring your laptop on vacation or taking a conference call while folding laundry. I realized I was confusing busyness with success. And I was tired of hustling 60-plus hours a week for external validation as an academic psychologist (e.g., publication count, grant dollars). I was tired of missing time with my husband and kids because I didn't finish everything on my to-do list."
Many professionals default to saying yes to demonstrate competence and avoid losing opportunities, which creates constant activity without forward progress. Equating busyness with success leads to long work hours, missed family time, and pursuit of external validation such as publication counts or grant dollars. Using personal values as a decision filter redirects choices toward meaningful impact and away from obligations held out of fear or habit. Prioritizing rest supports creativity and long-term success. Intentional focus on a few high-impact activities produces greater influence than trying to do everything.
Read at Psychology Today
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