I used to start every day by opening my laptop before I had finished my coffee and by 9am I had already responded to eleven other people's priorities and had not spent a single minute on my own - and I did that for six years and called it work ethic before I understood it was the most effective way I had ever found to avoid the discomfort of deciding what I actually wanted - Silicon Canals

"For six years, I convinced myself that being instantly available was the same thing as being valuable. Every morning played out the same way. Laptop open before the coffee was half-finished. Email inbox calling like a siren. By 9am, I'd already responded to eleven other people's priorities and hadn't spent a single minute on my own."

"You know what's easier than figuring out what you actually want from life? Responding to what everyone else wants from you. When someone sends you an email marked "urgent," you know exactly what to do. There's a clear task, a defined timeline, and someone else has already decided it matters. No uncomfortable soul-searching required."

"I'd been awake for three hours and hadn't had a single original thought. Not one. Everything in my brain was a reaction to someone else's request, someone else's deadline, someone else's priority. That's when it clicked: I was using busyness as a numbing agent."

For six years, the author prioritized instant availability and responsiveness to others' urgent requests, mistaking this for work ethic and productivity. Each morning began by addressing eleven other people's priorities before tackling personal goals. This pattern of reacting to external demands provided comfort through clarity and eliminated the need for uncomfortable self-examination. The author eventually recognized this constant busyness functioned as a numbing agent, preventing genuine introspection about personal desires and goals. Determining what one truly wants requires confronting discomfort and silence, making it significantly harder than simply responding to others' clearly defined urgent requests and deadlines.

Read at Silicon Canals