"My tactic is to join the queue behind an unfeasibly large trolley-load, then place items in a zigzag pattern on the conveyor... a bottle of gin halfway along gives everyone a breather as the cashier has to wrangle the security tab off..."
"There is an easy way to beat the cashiers: if you follow Aldi's clearly stated request that we pack our shopping at the dedicated packing shelves rather than at the till... those of us who do so are delighted by the rapid turnaround."
"Three old school friends and I meet regularly for a round of golf. The standard of our playing leaves much to be desired, but our discussions and support of the Labour party go from strength to strength."
"I love that it's going to cost 150m to pedestrianise London's Oxford Street. They haven't thought of just erecting No entry signs then?"
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