"President Biden kept up with the freak tradition of pardoning two turkeys ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. The turkeys were named Peach and Blossom, and I don't know why... but they sound slutty?"
"Then yesterday Biden pardoned a third turkey: his own son, Hunter Biden. This was a hilarious move that will make a lot of people upset and will lead to pointless frowny think pieces from liberal news outlets about norms and shit."
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