"Without effective tools and preparation, many parents understandably default to instinct and use common ineffective tactics, such as warning, advising, informing, or trying to control their teens. The adolescent brain has been compared to a car with a powerful gas pedal and weak brakes when in the presence of other teens or when expecting to be seen by them (Bulow, 2022; Steinberg, 2008). Further, they are drawn to peers, and then instinctively rev each other up into risky experimentation and sensation-seeking."
"In a 2021 CDC survey of over 17,000 teens, teens who felt that their parents knew where they were and who they were with were at lower risk in all areas of potential risk, including mental health (Dittus, 2023). Being tuned in, respectful, and emotionally present is the most effective way to find out what's going on and know what limits or tools are needed."
Raising teenagers often triggers parental anxiety, powerlessness, and feelings of rejection. The adolescent brain emphasizes reward and underdeveloped impulse control, especially in peer contexts, promoting risky experimentation and sensation-seeking. Peers provide essential opportunities for social learning, negotiation skills, and identity formation, and overly sheltered teens face difficulties similar to high risk-takers. Adolescence requires real-world testing to support brain development. Parents can influence teen decisions by using strategies aligned with adolescent biases and strengths. Respectful monitoring, open dialogue about activities and friends (including online), and emotional presence reduce risk and increase likelihood that teens will seek parental help.
Read at Psychology Today
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