"Setting limits based on fear rather than genuine values gives children an uncertain signal they will test. When limits are unclear, children sense the lack of conviction."
"Self-determination theory shows the need for autonomy starts in infancy and grows stronger every year. Children who comply with everything may not be thriving, as high compliance is linked to greater worry later."
"Knowing your own needs in a tense moment often means you never have to set a limit at all. Understanding personal values is essential for effective parenting."
Setting limits based on fear rather than genuine values sends mixed signals to children, prompting them to test boundaries. Self-determination theory indicates that the need for autonomy begins in infancy and intensifies over time. Understanding personal needs during tense moments can eliminate the necessity of setting limits altogether. Defiance in children often signals a need for connection or control, and high compliance may indicate future worry and fearfulness. Knowing one's values is crucial for effective limit-setting, as unclear values lead to uncertain communication with children.
Read at Psychology Today
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