The article contrasts the author’s experience growing up in Iran under strict authoritarian rule, where personal freedoms were severely restricted, with life in the United States, where democracy is practiced superficially. The author reflects on how the rigid structures of education and work in the U.S. can feel dictatorial, despite a democratic facade. This informs their approach to parenting, advocating for a democratic family environment where rules can be debated, and children’s voices are heard, emphasizing the importance of structure and clear limits created collaboratively with children.
When I moved to the United States as a teenager, the contrast of being without all the restrictions was quite a revelation. Life was far from perfect, but no one was controlling the minutiae of my life.
Most people in the U.S. end up operating under a version of dictatorship in classrooms and workplaces, with some engaging in democracy only once every four years at the voting booth.
Democratic parenting requires family agreements - a constitution of sorts - with clear limits and consequences developed with the child's input.
Given my childhood in Iran and my observations in the U.S., my parenting style follows a more democratic approach. Except for safety, all family rules and guidelines can be challenged.
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