Why Can't Moms Ever Go to The Bathroom Alone? A Therapist Explains How to Pee in Peace

"Moms, have you ever wrangled multiple young children for what seems like an eternity while your husband locks himself in the bathroom, blissfully unaware of any screaming, whining or injuries occurring just outside the door? If so, you're not alone. (Both literally and hypothetically, that is.) Licensed relationship therapist and mom of four Sheina Schochet had heard about this issue from so many clients that she created an Instagram carousel to explain it."

""The thing that's been coming up a lot is moms complaining that when they go to the bathroom, they're still 'on.' They're never able to just be in the moment of where they are," Schochet tells TODAY.com. "And it frustrates them deeply when their husband can just go to the bathroom and just be in there for what feels like hours on end." Though it's very tempting to heap all the blame on seemingly unaware dads, it's not solely their issue."

""From an evolutionary perspective, moms' brains are wired to always be 'on,' to be the person who is taking care of everybody's needs, and we've been socially conditioned to be the default parent," Schochet says. "So it's hard to step out of that role." Resentment can build if moms are consumed by kids while dads have the luxury of being completely alone."

Moms often remain mentally 'on' and unable to fully detach even during brief private moments, causing frustration when partners take uninterrupted breaks. Evolutionary wiring and social conditioning commonly make mothers the default caregivers who constantly monitor everyone's needs. Resentment can accumulate when mothers are consumed by childcare while partners enjoy solitude. Practical strategies include open, nonblaming communication about patterns, setting boundaries around breaks, sharing caregiving tasks, and planning deliberate moments for mothers to disconnect. Small intentional changes and mutual mindfulness during chaotic times can reduce burnout, rebalance responsibilities, and allow mothers necessary space to recharge.

Read at TODAY.com