We didn't need childcare, but we still paid $7,500 to send our toddler to a program for 4 hours a week. It helped her build independence.

"For the first few months of my surprisingly generous parental leave, my husband and I, cocooned in newborn bliss (and perhaps slightly delirious from sleep deprivation), didn't stress about what would happen when I went back to work. I figured we could make it work through a combination of creative time management and strategically scheduled naps - at least until our daughter was eligible for 3-K, free schooling available in New York City for kids the year they turn 3."

"It wasn't something either of us had considered before having a child, but it made the most sense: He found far greater fulfillment in being a father than he'd ever found in his career, whereas I had always defined myself by my work as a writer and editor. He kept his job but scaled back, working largely in the evenings and weekends so he could be free during the day for stay-at-home parenting."

When pregnancy arrived, long-term childcare plans received little attention. Living in New York City meant no traditional village: local parents were older and reluctant to babysit, and his parents lived thousands of miles away. Both partners worked flexible, largely remote jobs. During generous parental leave, the couple managed newborn life with creative scheduling and naps, planning to rely on free 3-K when their daughter turned three. As work demands increased, the husband became the primary parent, scaling back paid work to be available during the day while working evenings and weekends. The daughter thrived under his full-time care, and outside childcare was not initially required.

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