Parents generally dislike punishing their children, yet many find it challenging to avoid altogether. TikTok creator Jon Fogel advocates against punishment, especially in key situations. He advises not to punish children who seek help or fail to self-motivate, as this leads them away from seeking parental support in the future. Punishing children for chores can diminish their willingness to do them without supervision. Uniquely, he also suggests not punishing children for wronging a sibling, as it can sow blame between siblings rather than encourage healthy relationships.
"When you punish your kid [for coming to you with a problem], you are teaching them that they should not come to you for help. And those are the kids who wind up at 16 at a party intoxicated and they don't want to call you for help and so they make a decision that can change their life forever."
"Because you've made it about you. And when you're not there to enforce anymore they're just not going to want to do it."
"But what we know is when you punish your kid for something they did to their sibling, they actually don't blame you or themselves for the punishment: they blame their sibling. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be friends, to have a good relationship..."
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