"Many parents today, though, are taking a different approach: Hugs and kisses are not required. Neither is sitting on someone's lap, or being tickled, cuddled, or picked up when you don't want to be. These parents believe that kids don't owe anyone physical affection, and that they have the right to say no-or to offer a high five or fist bump instead."
"By teaching children that they can choose whom they hug, parents hope to instill in them a sense of agency, and remind them that consent matters, both for themselves and for other people. But in some families, these new rules have caused friction-especially with grandparents. Last year, the Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax addressed a grandma who was hurt when her 7-year-old granddaughter began rebuffing her hugs. (Hax had little sympathy, telling the writer that forcing hugs should be "unthinkable.")"
"The parents I spoke with told me about grandparents saying things like "I'm gonna steal a hug" and "Where's my huggy-huggy?" while their grandchildren recoiled from their open arms. Becky Kennedy, the psychologist and parenting influencer best known as "Dr. Becky," told me that she comes across this issue "all the time." Grandparents might interpret the rules as "rejecting or rude," she said, but parents are merely trying to teach kids that "connection and love do not require you to ignore your own needs.""
Many parents now teach that hugs, kisses, lap-sitting, tickling, cuddling, and being picked up are optional and children can decline physical affection. Parents believe children do not owe anyone physical affection and can offer alternatives like high fives or fist bumps. The approach aims to instill agency and the importance of consent for oneself and others. These rules have created friction with some grandparents who perceive refusals as rejecting or rude and sometimes attempt to compel affection. Parenting experts note that connection and love do not require ignoring children's needs. In the late 2010s, the #MeToo movement helped bring conversations about sexual assault into mainstream parental discussions.
Read at The Atlantic
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]