"If you are like many parents who reach out to me, having an overthinking child can really be challenging. They are overthinking school, their peers' perceptions of them, and many things that have not yet occurred. Just the other day, James (fictitious name), age 11, ensnared in overthinking, shared with me, "My brain just doesn't let me be happy. I know bad things have not even happened yet, but I keep thinking they will.""
"Before we go further, let me make a distinction between obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and everyday overthinking. Overthinking occurs when a child becomes caught in worry loops, such as repeatedly replaying thoughts; however, with appropriate parental guidance, they can usually move away from them. OCD is when scary thoughts feel so overwhelming and out of control that the child performs certain actions or rituals just to feel OK again."
"These overthinking kids are not deliberately trying to be difficult or dramatic. They are doing it because their nervous system signals that staying alert is safer than relaxing. As I recently explained to a concerned parent, think of your child's brain as a smoke detector, scanning for signs of danger. Once the alarm becomes more sensitive, it triggers more easily. And often it doesn't turn off unless you, as their parent/coach, instruct them to do so."
Overthinking in children manifests as repetitive worry loops about school, peers, and future events and usually reflects a cognitive pattern rather than deliberate behavior. Overthinking differs from obsessive-compulsive disorder because overthinkers can often move away from worries with appropriate guidance, while OCD involves overwhelming intrusive thoughts and rituals. Overthinking arises from a nervous system that treats caution as protection, making reassurance fade quickly. Parents function as coaches who can help children reframe worries as signals instead of commands, teach calming responses, and reduce the brain's hypersensitivity so children feel safer and less consumed by anxious loops.
Read at Psychology Today
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