Something About Our New House Terrifies My Daughter. Now She's Got Her Sister Spooked, Too.

"Dear NHS, My 4-year-old daughter is terrified of our new house. She is scared there is a rat or possum under her bed; she runs crying down the corridors if we are not in the same room as her; she can't fall asleep at night and wakes up before dawn in a panic. She shares a room with her 2-year-old sister, so this means that we are all up at the crack of dawn feeling very grumpy. This morning, in a new development, she started getting jumpy because she saw something moving out the window of her playroom (which she otherwise loves)."

"She never had these fears before. Our new house is slightly bigger than our last house and it's in the same neighborhood, the main difference is that it is two stories. Her sister is too young to have the same fears, but she feeds off her big sister's energy, so everyone is acting completely crazy. Nothing I've said to her makes her feel any better, and I'm at a loss how to make her feel safe and comfortable in her new home. -New House Smell"

"This gets right at the core struggle of parenting, which is the inability to guarantee that our children feel forever safe. We simply lack that level of control, and there's no way to force our way into it. It is perfectly normal for a 4-year-old to have fears about a new house. My daughter experienced all manner of anxieties well into the upper grades of elementary school, and even my son, who was largely immune from nighttime terrors, went through brief phases in which he was afraid of raccoons, aliens, and for some reason, an imminent return of Cro-Magnon man."

A 4-year-old developed intense fear of a new two-story house, fearing animals under her bed, running crying when separated, and waking before dawn in panic. The younger sibling, sharing a room, mirrored the older child's anxiety, disrupting the household's sleep and mood. The new home is only slightly larger and in the same neighborhood; the main change is its two-story layout. Parents lack the power to guarantee perpetual safety for their children. Childhood anxieties can persist through elementary school, and some parents instinctively urge children to 'get over it' despite those fears being developmentally normal.

Read at Slate Magazine