"When Dana, a senior associate, returned from parental leave, she expected a few chaotic days. What she didn't expect was the lingering disorientation: guilt for leaving her baby, guilt for not being fully present at work, and a fear that she no longer fit neatly into either world. She also felt the pressure of returning to a culture that sent a clear message: Say yes to everything, that's how you survive here. Working parents know that life without boundaries isn't viable, yet law firms still reward constant availability."
"Layered on top of the transition to parenthood is a shift that gets less attention: the transition from working person to working parent. That identity change is profound, and rarely named. As one partner shared after her third leave: "You don't come back as the same person. But you might come back clearer, stronger, and more sustainable if you stop fighting the fact that things have changed.""
Returning from parental leave produces lingering disorientation, conflicting guilt about both caregiving and work presence, and a sense of not fully belonging to either role. Law firm cultures that reward constant availability compound pressure to say yes to everything, even though life with children requires boundaries. Many firms offer leave but provide little guidance on re-onboarding, workload negotiations, flexibility, or healthy ramp-up timelines. The transition from worker to working parent is a profound identity change that is rarely named. Acknowledging that shift and creating explicit return processes can support clearer, stronger, and more sustainable reintegration.
Read at Above the Law
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