"My brother and sister-in-law have a new baby a few months old. My sister-in-law won't let anyone hold the baby, although the grandparents on both sides of the family were allowed one-off holds. At family events, as soon as the baby makes the slightest cry, her mum whips her away to a room as far from everyone else as possible. Usually they leave shortly after that."
"A lot of parents limit visitors or cuddles in the first few months; it just takes one relative forgetting they have a cold or a cold sore. It could be about overstimulation. Maybe she doesn't want to deal with the possible aftermath of the baby getting overwhelmed by multiple faces, noises, smells. It could be anxiety; maybe all-day-long parenting, books and her postpartum imagination remind her of everything that could go wrong."
A new mother restricts most people from holding her few-month-old infant, allowing only brief holds by grandparents and quickly removing the baby at the slightest cry. Possible reasons include protecting the baby from illness, avoiding overstimulation, managing anxiety, responding to medical concerns, or simple personal preference. The family's natural inclination to engage with the baby feels thwarted, creating exclusion, frustration, and a sense of ownership denied. Supportive responses include respecting the parents' decision, offering private non-confrontational conversations, asking how to help, proposing gradual optional contact, and suggesting professional help if anxiety or medical issues are suspected.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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