"Welcome to Ask A MWLTF (Yes, that's Mother Who Likes to F*ck.), a monthly anonymous advice column from Scary Mommy. Here we'll dissect all your burning questions about motherhood, sex, romance, intimacy, and friendship with the help of our columnist, Penelope, a writer and mental health practitioner in training. She'll dish out her most sound advice for parents on the delicate dance of raising kids without sacrificing other important relationships. Email her at askpenelope@scarymommy.com."
"First, let's say the quiet part out loud: affairs are erotic. Or at least they can be. There's a reason why they're at the center of half the novels, films, and television series one encounters. And even when they're not erotic in a glossy, aspirational way - they're destabilizing. Things that destabilize our lives or the lives of those around us are titillating."
"That doesn't mean you want to cheat. It means something in you recognizes the electricity of being wanted, especially for moms who often long to feel like more than logistical center of gravity for the households they run. In other words, you're not just reacting to her infidelity. You're reacting to the idea that erotic life doesn't disappear just because you became a mother."
Affairs often carry erotic charge and destabilizing appeal, drawing attention because they unsettle ordinary life. Discovering a nearby parent's infidelity can trigger judgment, fascination, envy, curiosity, and anxiety about one's own marriage. Such reactions reflect an awareness of the power of desire and the thrilling sensation of being wanted. Mothers especially may respond strongly because many long to feel like more than the logistical center of their households. The response to another person's infidelity can therefore be less about wanting to cheat and more about recognizing that erotic life can persist after becoming a parent.
Read at Scary Mommy
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