A parent describes feeling hurt after a Mother’s Day where basic responsibilities and thoughtful consideration were not met. The morning involved a partner not handling getting toddlers dressed and out the door, leaving the parent to manage the situation. The kitchen had no separate breakfast for the parent, flowers were not presented properly, and a gift card was given despite a prior request not to receive one. The parent also did most household work, including grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and cleaning, while the partner did not empty the dishwasher. The partner responded with anger, claiming expectations were unrealistic and that reservations should have been requested explicitly.
"I woke up to a toddler's screams as he was trying to get them dressed and out the door for sports (I usually get them ready). I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to see some leftover cold breakfast takeout from the bagel shop (no separate order/plate for me), bodega flowers not in a vase just lying on the counter, and, worst of all, a gift card after I specifically said just days before Mother's Day, "Do not get me a gift card.""
"I was (or at least tried to be!) appreciative in the moment, but later told my husband I was disappointed, and he yelled at me, saying I have unrealistic expectations and if I wanted to do something on Mother's Day, I should have explicitly told him to make a reservation somewhere."
"I ended up going grocery shopping, doing laundry, and cooking dinner for my family on my own. I had sent my husband gift ideas (perfume, sandals, skincare, etc.) leading up to Mother's Day. I had said I don't care what we do as long as I don't have to plan it or get everyone dressed and ready."
"Now I have no idea if my expectations were too high or if I'm being gaslit, but I'm extremely hurt. He didn't even empty the dishwasher; I did it myself while they were at sports, as well as cleaned up the mess of toys they left behind."
Read at Slate Magazine
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