"Our daughter and her friends are 16. One of her friends, "Callie," has an innocent but obvious crush on my husband, "Josh." Callie does a lot of clumsy teen flirting and he either ignores it or shuts it down politely. If she's around, he makes himself scarce. Our daughter teases Callie about it and tells her it's weird, but it hasn't stopped."
"He was abused by a trusted adult as a kid, and so he's extra sensitive to stuff like this involving adults and children. Right now our approach is that I do all the supervising the girls, including carpool drives, pickups, and dropoffs, when Callie is involved, and Josh steers clear. Josh came to me and told me it freaks him out so much he's getting on a waitlist to go back to therapy to deal with flashbacks from his childhood."
A 16-year-old friend's flirtation toward a husband is triggering because the husband was abused by a trusted adult as a child. The family has minimized contact by having the wife supervise outings, drives, pickups, and dropoffs when the teen is present while the husband avoids those situations. The husband is experiencing flashbacks, is seeking therapy, and is worried about appearances of inappropriate behavior. He has suggested barring the teen from the house, skipping team events, talking to the teen's parents, or having the wife speak to the teen about romantic safety and risks to minors. Prioritizing the husband's mental-health needs and protecting minors through clear boundaries and parental involvement is central.
Read at Slate Magazine
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