"I just told my partner (we've been discussing this in therapy for a year, so it does not feel out of the blue, at least not to me) that I knew having a second child was the right choice for me, and thus I would be pursuing it. If he couldn't get on board, I said, it would be best if we split up."
"Now he's accusing me of "throwing our family away." I don't see how choosing what's right for me is "throwing our family away," but him doing what's right for him ( not having another child) isn't also making a decision for both of us that profoundly affects me. I am aging out of even being able to biologically have a second child, so I am planning on using a sperm donor on my next cycle. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but am I?"
A couple with a four-year-old and seven years together bought a house and share childcare and house duties equally. One partner always wanted two children; the other wanted none. An unplanned pregnancy produced a child whose other parent stepped up and participates fully. The desire for a second child has caused years of repeated conflict and therapy without resolution. The partner who wants another child plans to use a sperm donor because of age-related fertility limits and says they will split up if the other refuses to consent. The disagreement has created deep grief and moral questioning.
Read at Slate Magazine
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