"My mother dropped a bombshell on me and I don't know how to move on from it, but I feel like I need to, fast-I am expecting my first child in a few months and don't want this hanging over us. She informed me that she and my father have never felt like they are a priority in anyone else's life, including mine, and so they have decided to be their own priority."
"I really wish that your mother had chosen to communicate with you about this in another way, without the weird guilt trip. Because of course there's nothing fundamentally wrong with your parents making their own lives and happiness a priority. As important as our kids are, as much as we love them, they can't be our whole lives for the rest of our lives."
A pregnant daughter learned that her parents feel they have never been a priority and have decided to prioritize their own lives. She had moved closer, hosts holidays, invites them, and steps up when they need help. The parents' declaration left her crushed and fearing exclusion from her child's life. The mother refused further discussion or to identify specific causes. The response advises that parents are entitled to prioritize their own happiness and that the absence of specific grievances suggests no clear wrongdoing by the daughter. Open communication is constrained by the mother's refusal to engage.
Read at Slate Magazine
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