"Two British psychologists, Peter Fonagy and Anthony Bateman, began writing about mentalization in the late 1980s. They introduced the term to describe the process of understanding our own behavior and that of others in terms of underlying feelings, desires, and intentions. Clinicians describe it as " holding mind in mind" or "thinking about thinking." This skill is crucial for understanding other people as well as being helpful in understanding and regulating our own emotions."
"This sort of reflection is the core of mentalization. Fonagy states that it is an important skill for use in everyday life as well as in parenting. He says that for the optimal development of children, it is helpful for parents to imagine what their children are thinking and feeling and to keep these feelings in mind in their interactions with their children."
"This is different from "gentle parenting," where parents meet all of their children's behaviors with an explanation to the child of their feelings. You could say that this technique takes mentalization to an unnecessary extreme. Having one's mind in mind or seeing ourselves from the outside and others from the inside is the capacity for children to build an internal picture of how other people work, as well as help them with their own internal emotional regulation."
Mentalization, described as "holding mind in mind" or "thinking about thinking," is the process of understanding behavior in terms of underlying feelings, desires, and intentions. Mentalization enables reflection on one's own actions and on others', allowing interpretation of behavior beyond immediate reactions. Parents who imagine what their children are thinking and feeling and keep those feelings in mind during interactions foster children's development. Mentalization differs from gentle parenting, which explains every behavior to the child, and can be more balanced. Modeling mentalization helps children build internal models of others and supports their emotional regulation and ability to predict feelings.
Read at Psychology Today
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