"The teacher told a little girl it was time to put away the truck she was playing with so they could get ready for snack. This little human was not pleased with this plan and loudly said, "No, I don't want to," then began to fuss and tried to hide the large plastic truck behind her back, claiming she had already put it away."
"After some tears and a glance at the snack table, she slowly dragged the truck to the shelf while repeatedly announcing, "But I don't want to." The teacher praised the little girl with a big smile and an animated "Thank you," and they headed over to the table of sliced banana and peanut butter (yes, this was before nut-free schools)."
"I am often reminded of that teacher when working with families who are learning how to parent a child who persistently struggles to follow directions. I recall her patience, her calm demeanor, and her delight when the child finished the task, despite the child fussing all the way. The little girl achieved the adult-directed goal while maintaining a sense of autonomy."
Learning to follow directions is a developmental skill that emerges gradually and can be challenging for children for varied reasons at different ages. Children often need a few beats to transition from instruction to action, and adults can support compliance by offering simple choices, waiting through fussing, and reminding children of desired outcomes like snack time. Allowing a child to voice distress while completing a task can add humor and help preserve dignity after initial refusal. Calm persistence, praise after completion, and preserving autonomy during compliance foster cooperation and reinforce the child's ability to follow instructions over time.
Read at Psychology Today
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