My husband and I talk behind our kids backs all the time - It's not what you think. For our 5-year-old and our 3-year-old, whenever we know that they are close and within earshot, but we're not directly having a conversation with them, my husband and I will talk to each other and tell each other things that we want to positively and reinforce in our kids. This tactic helps to build their self-esteem.
It may sound like, 'Oh my gosh today, Hudson, I asked him if he was eating the Play-Doh, and instead of lying to me and telling me he wasn't, he told me the truth, and I am just so grateful that he trusted me to tell me the truth and I'm so proud of him for telling me the truth.' This reflects on creating a trustworthy environment for the children.
This is such a powerful way of reinforcing that positive behavior. There's just something about when you know that they're not talking to you, like they're not faking it, they really think this about me. This method solidifies the authenticity of the praise, making it more impactful.
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