"A significant part of the reason for the divorce was my contentious relationship with his daughter (my stepkid) and his ex. They expected me to be a loving stepmother, but bridled at everything I did or didn't do. He never backed me up. I got sick of it and decided that, sadly, I wasn't cut out to be a stepmom."
"I get calls to pick them up. My ex asks me to talk to them about stressful teen stuff. The kid shows up at mine to complain about people not understanding them and ask for a place to decompress, and when I call an ACTUAL parent, they ask if I can let them stay and give everyone some breathing room. And even though I am now the ex, no one is grateful for my forbearance in playing along with these requests."
A recent divorce resulted largely from a contentious relationship with a partner's daughter and ex, who expected a loving stepmother role without offering support. The writer realized she was not cut out to be a stepmom and found the assumed "responsible adult" role different from expectations. After the divorce, both parents and the child continue to treat her as a caregiver, requesting pickups, emotional conversations, and temporary stays, while failing to show gratitude and accusing her of either not doing enough or overstepping. The writer worries that refusing requests could harm the child or create safety risks and seeks ways to set kind, firm boundaries while protecting the child and respecting personal limits.
Read at Slate Magazine
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