"A word of encouragement is not just reassuring. At times, it is the very thing that changes the outcome of a struggle. It's a nudge that pushes us forward, or a spark that rekindles the fire to pick ourselves up and try once more. Parents understand this, and it is one reason why many lavish praise on their children. At first glance, this tendency appears to be a good thing through and through."
"The next kiddo was a lad of about seven years who looked like he had the makings of a future linebacker. He pounced on the rope with the zeal of a senior citizen at a Denny's Silver Sneaker Special. After pausing for a moment, he began to strain at the rope. Nothing. This was followed by another effort, and again, no progress. With a final effort, he groaned and made one final attempt."
A word of encouragement can change the outcome of a struggle by nudging people forward or rekindling determination. Parents often lavish praise on children to encourage them. Certain forms of praise, however, can unintentionally set children back, hamper success, and erode resilience. A gym observation contrasted a girl who easily climbed a rope with a boy who struggled and fell. Both received enthusiastic parental praise, with the girl commended for achievement and the boy for effort. The contrasting responses illustrate how praise applied differently can have unintended consequences.
Read at Psychology Today
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