For Estranged Mothers on Mother's Day

"Mother's Day can be painful for both mothers and adult children. Holidays can exacerbate the loneliness and pain. Feeling grief is normal. You can choose to make Mother's day a good day nonetheless."

"Like a deer caught in headlights, I was completely caught off guard and replied, Mom, I am so sorry! I can't believe I forgot." Now, some mothers would have been insulted, hurt or angry. My mother? Here's what she said: You don't need to be sorry! Your call is even better. Your call is even better. You called me because you just wanted to talk to me rather than it being an obligatory holiday call. I will never forget that."

"For a variety of reasons, parental estrangement is very common these days. And regardless of the causes of the cutoffs, holidays like Mother's Day can be painful for both. But as I sit here and think about the menu for my Mother's Day brunch tomorrow, I started to feel sad for all the mothers out there who have been cut out of their children's, and often grandchildren's, lives."

"When loss happens through a loved one's death, friends and family huddle, support and hug. But when loss happens due to hurtful and often devastating withdrawal, who is around to soothe the grief? Sometimes people become despondent each year around the time of their loved one's death. Therapists refer to this as the Anniversary Blues."

Mother’s Day can be painful for mothers and adult children, especially when loneliness and grief are already present. Feeling grief is normal, and holidays can intensify it. A missed call can become a lesson when a mother responds with understanding rather than hurt, valuing the intention behind contact. Parental estrangement is common, and holidays can be especially hard when mothers are cut out of children’s and grandchildren’s lives. When loss follows death, support often gathers, but withdrawal due to hurtful circumstances can leave grief without comfort. Some people experience recurring sadness around anniversaries, often called Anniversary Blues.

Read at www.psychologytoday.com