Being in your late 30s and suddenly understanding why your parents stopped having hobbies isn't depressing - it's the moment you realize that the gap between having interests and having the energy to pursue them is a gap that parenthood fills with something that isn't quite sacrifice and isn't quite choice, and naming it would require a word that doesn't exist yet - Silicon Canals

"Psychologists who study the transition to parenthood have a concept worth knowing here: parental role engulfment. It describes what happens when the parenting role doesn't just take up more time but actually comes to dominate how a person understands themselves."

"If it were purely about time, you'd expect hobbies to return whenever a gap appeared - a free Saturday morning, a quieter patch, a week when the demands eased off. And they often don't. Something else is going on."

Parental role engulfment describes how the parenting role can dominate a person's identity, overshadowing other aspects such as hobbies and personal interests. While it is commonly believed that parents sacrifice hobbies due to time constraints, this explanation is insufficient. Hobbies often do not return even when time allows, indicating a deeper issue. The transition to parenthood can lead to a diminished sense of self beyond parenting, requiring conscious effort to maintain other identities.

Read at Silicon Canals