"One day, my daughter's eyeglasses broke, so I grabbed a replacement pair and brought them to her in between classes. Another day, she forgot to pack her lunch, so I made another quick trip to the school. In my opinion, I don't believe that I was enabling my daughter; I prefer to think that I assisted her as her parent. Well, the teachers thought otherwise and made it a point to share their feedback."
"On the other side of things, yes, it's true, there is a fine line between enabling and assisting, and I have done both. As parents, we need to figure out the boundaries for ourselves and our children-and this doesn't look the same for every family. Every child is different, every parent has a certain patience threshold, and let's remember that neurodivergent children navigate added layers of complexity."
There is a fine line between assisting and enabling, and parents must set boundaries tailored to their family's needs. Assisting can prevent immediate harm—such as supplying replacement glasses or lunch—while enabling can hinder long-term independence. Parents should validate children's anxiety, fear, and stress while distinguishing when to step in and when to allow problem-solving. Low-stakes or safe moments provide opportunities for children to identify solutions and build skills. Neurodivergent children often face extra complexity that requires flexibility and judgment about when to intervene. The long-term goal is to teach independence while supporting emotional regulation and resilience.
Read at Psychology Today
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