"Over my decades of practice, seeing thousands of people who use donor conception to have their children, I have seen a steady increase in people who want to either co‑parent or who plan to use the sperm or eggs of someone they know and plan to call that person "mom" or "dad." While I have seen many of these beautiful arrangements work out well, many have not."
"Unfortunately, it seems that we often mistake feeling good about something with 'it will be good for us.' Perhaps that is why we choose donors based on their looks or personalities, even though those things are outside of our control, or clinics for their nice doctors rather than the doctors with the best statistics. My aim is not to be overly clinical about these choices."
Use of known donors and co‑parents has increased, with many people planning to call the donor 'mom' or 'dad.' Many of these arrangements work well, but a substantial number do not. People often conflate feeling good about a choice with suitability, leading to selection based on looks, personality, or clinic comfort rather than outcomes. Practical decision‑making should take precedence when prioritizing a child's and family's future health and well‑being. Choosing the genetic contributor carries long‑lasting health implications, and defining the future relationship with that person can significantly affect family life.
Read at Psychology Today
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