A Key Parenting Strategy: Naming Your Child's Emotions

"When we talk to a good friend about a problem, we tend to feel better. This usually has less to do with the friend's advice-if they even offer any-and more to do with their simply listening and validating our feelings. This is especially true for children, especially considering how a child's mind works. For kids, it's not necessarily about finding an intellectual solution to whatever problem they're having."

"For instance, when your daughter wants to stay in the bath another hour, or wants her birthday to come NOW, or wants to pet the squirrel at the bird feeder, there's no solution to these wants, and she's left with her enormous feelings. So, what do you do? When parents name the emotion for their young child-who often can't name or even recognize the emotion-something wonderful happens: the child tends to feel better, and any acting-out behaviors tend to disappear."

"Just as we find comfort in talking to a friend, kids feel better when someone recognizes and validates their feelings. Naming the feeling also helps children recognize and identify their emotions, too. What naming the emotion looks like Naming the emotion doesn't have to be complicated, especially with young children. It might vary, though, depending on the child's age and what they can understand."

Children often feel better when someone listens and validates their feelings rather than offering solutions. Young children frequently cannot name or understand their emotions, so naming the feeling helps them calm and reduces acting-out behaviors. Practical phrasing should match the child's developmental level: simple labels for two-year-olds, brief reasons for three-year-olds, acknowledgment of mixed feelings for four-year-olds, and more nuanced empathy and apology for five-year-olds. Naming emotions also teaches children to recognize and identify their internal states, supports emotional regulation, and conveys understanding. The approach requires attuned, age-appropriate language and genuine validation rather than problem-solving.

Read at Psychology Today