7 Reasons to Have an 'Exit Plan' When College Grads Move Home

"Many college grads will be returning home, and while most parents will welcome them back with open arms, an extended stay can leave the door open to uncertainty. Is this a long-term arrangement? For how long do they want to live at home? What could precipitate an adult child moving out permanently? Parents and college grads who are coming back to live under the same roof frequently don't have answers to these questions. That's because they're missing one key component that could help put everyone's mind at ease, even if it might be difficult to discuss. What's needed is an exit plan."

"Not too long ago, discussions centered around grown kids' "failure to launch." The phrase became a catch-all to describe offspring who remained home with their parents, many for years. Some blamed "stunted development." But it doesn't have to work out this way. By having an open conversation or series of conversations that detail everyone's expectations and circumstances surrounding departure, the family can enjoy time together without being left guessing."

"It may sound harsh, and perhaps unwelcoming, to bring up leaving when your college grad or young adult has barely unpacked and settled into a childhood bedroom and new routines. But it's a conversation that makes good sense. Early on, establish a loose, open-ended, unwritten plan for departure. This should include a time frame in which you and your child expect that they might be able to be independent of your financial support and housing. Discuss it together, taking into account your young adult's plans, hopes, and dreams."

Many college graduates return home, and extended stays can create uncertainty about whether the arrangement is temporary or long-term. Parents and adult children often lack answers about how long they will live together and what events would lead to permanent departure. An exit plan helps reduce uncertainty by clarifying expectations and circumstances. Conversations about leaving may feel uncomfortable at first, but they support stability and mutual understanding. Early on, families can establish a loose, open-ended, unwritten departure plan that includes a time frame for independence from financial support and housing. The timeline should reflect the adult child’s plans, hopes, and dreams, while remaining flexible and mutually agreed upon.

Read at Psychology Today