In a heartfelt response to a grieving friend's inquiry, the author emphasizes the challenges in pursuing details about a deceased's life. The writer suggests that the friend may be driven by grief in her quest for answers regarding her oldest friend, Mary. However, it's also possible that the family wishes to keep the circumstances private or simply that there may not be much information available. Instead of focusing solely on the death, the author encourages reflection on the positive memories shared and finding ways to honor the life lived together.
Some of this pursuit is probably motivated by grief. That makes sense. And it's perfectly natural to want to know more details about a loved one's death.
It's possible that Mary's heir and/or her family want to keep the circumstances of her death private. It's also possible that there isn't much to know.
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