As a sex-repulsed asexual gay man, I feel alienated when I enter gay spaces like bars, parties, clubs. Gay allosexuals don't seem to be aware that hypersexualized spaces make asexual men like me feel unsafe and unwanted. The atmosphere often centers around sexual interactions, which can feel threatening to those of us who do not share that desire. It poses a real dilemma for asexual individuals who seek community but are confronted with an environment that reinforces their exclusion.
When gay sex is foregrounded like this it makes gay men like me feel like we are not welcome in the gay community. Gay bars generally cater to an enthusiastic sexual culture, but my experiences suggest that asexual individuals might benefit from dedicated spaces or nights that focus less on sexualized environments. A potential solution could involve organizing specific nights that prioritize inclusivity and comfort for all members of the community, regardless of their sexual orientation.
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