In relationships many would label as codependent, we often see the dichotomy of the hero and the distressed. The distressed is often clamoring for aid, while the hero is often searching for ways to provide it. When the hero succeeds, they feel useful, important, and good. Thus, they expect the owed admiration. The distressed, often ashamed for needing so much aid, may provide it only in bits when they feel their partner pulling away.
Being the hero, persistently, takes a toll on the other partner, who can't always avoid the thought of inferiority. Having every risk and responsibility gladly taken from them, they begin to feel unequal and jealous of their partner's ease with assertiveness. So, rather than meeting them with gratitude after the fact, they may instead nit-pick, finding fault with the manner or speed with which the action was done.
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