I have been a football fan for many years now, and in those years I have cultivated a rich, instinctive hatred of not just certain teams, but of the loathsome creatures that cheer for those teams. Mine is a learned hatred. Good hate. Righteous hate.
The Cowboys are brain death with a star decal. Their owner is a broken, racist, mouthy Teddy Ruxpin. Their coach is a boob. And their fans are the reason that Romano's Macaroni Grill remains solvent. They are scum.
In fact, you better grab an entire carton of smokes and stick me with the tab, because this season, at least in the early offing, has been a fucking buffet.
I know that the Cowboys have won precisely dick this century and have had a consistent record of underachieving that always ensures my enjoyment.
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