"We have all dined with assholes; we all hope never to be the asshole with whom someone dines. It would take some exceptionally monstrous behavior to get someone blacklisted from a restaurant—let alone the rest of their party, too."
"Just remember that your server is your ally—they're almost certainly clocking your companion's every inelegant gesture and churlish pronouncement, and a conspiratorial cringe or a well-timed eye roll can efficiently communicate that you disagree with said behavior."
"If the situation is truly dire, just be direct: get up to powder your nose mid-meal, or, after paying the check, swing back inside and find your server."
"Say this: 'I just want to apologize for what a dingus that guy is. Your patience with us has been amazing. I can't wait to come back without him.'"
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