Two weeks after I stopped taking the lowest dose of antidepressants I'd been on in years, the feelings I'd been avoiding came screeching back. I was terrified, nauseous, irritable and pathetic. I could and did not stop crying. Even in the times when I wasn't actively sobbing, singular tears would roll down my face.
Nothing felt like the life I'd enjoyed on medication; food no longer had a taste, and confronting anything - from a walk to a text to a food shop - paralysed me to the point of breakdown.
It was misery, the kind that cannot be overstated, and it made me ache with regret over choosing this painful path.
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