When Uncomfortable, Don't Push: PAUSE

"When at a stoplight, do you instinctively pick up your phone? What about when you're standing in a checkout line? When someone you love is upset, do you find yourself swooping in to make them feel better-perhaps even talking too much (with the best of intentions, of course)? At work, do you compulsively recheck your projects, replay conversations, and skip lunch-not to get ahead but to outrun the uneasy feeling that you might not measure up?"

"Different situations evoke different levels of distress and discomfort in each of us. The harder a situation is, the more distress we'll feel; the easier a situation, the less distress we'll feel. It's no different when it comes to the "stuff" in our heads. The more difficult a memory/image/thought/emotion, the harder it is to feel (e.g., it causes more discomfort), while better memories/thoughts/images are easier to feel."

Attempting to make uncomfortable feelings go away intensifies and prolongs them. Many everyday behaviors—checking phones at stoplights, over-helping upset loved ones, compulsively rechecking work, skipping lunch—often serve to avoid uneasy emotions rather than address real situational demands. Evaluating a behavior's function helps reveal whether it mitigates discomfort or is warranted by the situation. Pausing before acting creates space to distinguish reactions driven by feelings from responses to the actual situation. Gradual practice tolerating small doses of discomfort increases confidence in staying present and responding differently when distress arises.

Read at Psychology Today