"You know that small, quiet panic that shivers through you when it feels like someone is watching you? Butterflies in your stomach, goosebumps, perhaps a sheen of sweat? Like you're onstage, even if that "stage" is just a public sidewalk? I used to get that feeling in yoga class. For nearly a decade, I approached each practice as a place of success and failure, all while believing that everyone present was bearing witness to, and judging, my every pose."
"On your mat is arguably the last place that you should have to feel "on." Yoga is not meant to be performative-in fact, transforming your practice into a show for others is somewhat antithetical to the overall philosophy. But it turns out that knowing this intellectually and actually believing it are two very different things. I started practicing yoga in high school, an era of theater class, team sports, and grades."
A practitioner experienced persistent performance anxiety in yoga classes, feeling watched and judged and responding with panic, butterflies, and sweat. That internalized scrutiny turned each session into a measure of success or failure and heightened focus on clothing and appearance. Imperfect flexibility produced shame and avoidance, making studio attendance inconsistent. Intellectual knowledge that yoga is not performative differed from the felt experience of being onstage. Completion of a 200-hour teacher training shifted perspective and clarified that yoga practice is an entirely personal endeavor, freeing the practitioner from the need to perform for others.
Read at Yoga Journal
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