"For the first 25 years of my life, it was easy for me to forget who I am. I tended to enmesh with others, orbit around their realities, and as a result, completely lose my center. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to those who were outspoken, shone brightly, and took up a lot of space-which left little room for me."
"To cope with my increasing loneliness, I started taking mile-long walks from Williamsburg to Greenpoint so I could attend rooftop yoga classes overlooking the Manhattan skyline. In between postures, I could hear myself again-starting with my heart beating, then my breath inhaling and exhaling. Although I can't tell you what specific poses were so impactful in those early days of yoga, I'll never forget the embodied experience of self-acceptance I felt."
"The more I practiced, the more awareness I cultivated. I could finally feel what codependency kept concealed. I was able to see my people-pleasing patterns more clearly and even recall early childhood memories that induced unhealthy boundaries. A couple years later, I returned to California. I'll admit, it was tempting to fall back into old patterns of putting everyone else in my life first. But yoga kept me focused."
Enmeshment with others caused loss of personal center, drawing the narrator toward outspoken people and leaving little space for self. A move from California to New York City and a rising career did not fill increasing loneliness. Rooftop yoga walks provided embodied self-acceptance and a renewed ability to sense heartbeats and breath, creating internal space. Continued yoga practice cultivated awareness, revealed people-pleasing patterns, and surfaced childhood memories tied to unhealthy boundaries. Returning to California presented temptations to revert to old habits, but yoga maintained focus and led to formal teacher training and advanced study.
Read at Yoga Journal
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