"You can't control what other people say or do, but you can control your responses and how you carry yourself in stressful circumstances. A friend or family member may say something you disagree with, and your first impulse might be to persuade, convince, or argue with them. Such disagreements are common forms of family conflict that often arise for many during the holidays."
"But as you enter the holiday season, get clear on what you want to experience this holiday—for example, less conflict, peace, or connection—and what will help you achieve that? Disagreements and conflicts can happen even if you try to avoid them, so your focus should be on how they are addressed when they do occur. Trying to convince your aunt she's wrong or defending your position about a charged topic doesn't usually lead to peace and connection, for example."
Thanksgiving often brings logistical stressors and emotional challenges, including strained family relationships and heated debates. Individuals cannot control others' words or actions but can choose their responses and comportment in stressful situations. Clarifying desired outcomes—such as less conflict, peace, or connection—helps guide behavior and responses. Attempts to persuade or win arguments at the family table often undermine relationship preservation and rarely produce peace or connection. Some conflicts deserve later, private conversations rather than holiday confrontations. Protecting personal peace involves emotional regulation, attunement, awareness of personal wounds, and reflecting on emotions instead of venting on social media.
Read at Psychology Today
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