"You feel it when it lands: the comment that blindsides you and hits below the belt. It can happen with a group of friends at dinner, at an office function, or at any other type of social gathering. It might be delivered with a laugh or in a "friendly" tone, but the words still sting: "You're just not that smart. But that's OK. We'll do your thinking for you!""
"First, appear indifferent. You may not feel calm, internally, but try to seem completely unaffected. This requires emotional regulation, which is achieved by refraining from immediately reacting. Instead, coach yourself to stay calm and quickly think through the scenario. Second, if you can, ignore and dismiss the comment as if it were nothing. You are rendering the offender's sentiment powerless because it is so ridiculous that you feel zero need to respond."
"Key points Four emotionally intelligent strategies can help you respond to rude, unpleasant interactions. Refrain from immediately reacting and defending yourself. Appear calm even if you do not actually feel calm. Ignore and avoid backhanded comments, or give a one-word answer and quickly re-direct the conversation. If you are trapped, identify the manipulation-often, a projection, a victim stance, or blame-shifting."
Four emotionally intelligent maneuvers reduce the impact of rude comments: appear indifferent, ignore or dismiss the remark, respond briefly when necessary, and identify manipulative tactics. Use emotional regulation to refrain from immediately reacting, coach yourself to stay calm, and quickly think through the scenario before speaking. When possible, render the insult powerless by treating it as nothing or by answering with a single neutral word and redirecting the conversation. If trapped, name the manipulation, such as projection, a victim stance, or blame-shifting, to expose the tactic and protect composure and credibility.
Read at Psychology Today
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