"Not long ago, a family member sent me a message linking my sexual orientation to painful events in our family history and describing my identity as spiritually disordered and in need of correction. The message expressed genuine concern and included declarations of love and care, while urging repentance and presenting salvation as contingent on changing who I am. She wrote, "I pray that you will be released of the lie from the enemy that you were gay. I love you, and I want you to enter the gates of Heaven free and clear.""
"Many of us carry this logic into adulthood, even after leaving religion behind. We don't always call it religious trauma, though. We talk about shame, fear, self-doubt, or unworthiness. We wonder why we can't shake the feeling that something about us is fundamentally wrong. Religious harm happens when religious beliefs, practices, or structures damage a person's sense of safety or autonomy and negatively affect their physical, social, emotional, relational, or psychological well-being."
Many clients report shame, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness rooted in early religious messages rather than explicit doctrinal recall. Simple assessment questions can reveal formative influences that shape current relationship patterns and emotional responses. Religious harm includes beliefs, practices, or structures that undermine safety or autonomy and damage physical, social, emotional, relational, or psychological well-being. Harm often appears in everyday family dynamics and spiritual language that sounds loving while communicating rejection or the need for change. Non-affirming religious settings are associated with higher levels of internalized shame among LGBTQ adults, even after leaving those environments.
Read at Psychology Today
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