Why Emotional Wounds Linger

"To start resolving our hurt, it helps to pause and ask ourselves a different question: What kind of wound am I dealing with? Many painful experiences-rejection, disappointment, humiliation, betrayal, exclusion-do not leave traumatic injuries. They leave emotional wounds. These wounds are real and impactful, even when they do not necessarily involve threat, terror, or a nervous system focused on survival. And yet, they can linger for years, shaping how we see ourselves and others long after the event has passed."

"Emotional wounds live in the parts of our system connected to pain and meaning. They don't usually make the world feel dangerous, but they do make it feel uncertain and tender. They subtly alter how confident we feel in relationships, how much we trust others' intentions, and how freely we allow ourselves to be seen. They quietly prime us to protect ourselves-by pulling back, doubting, or overthinking."

"This is why emotional wounds can be so confusing. We may function well, appear regulated, and even understand intellectually that what happened "wasn't a big deal"-yet something inside us remains unsettled. We rehearse the memories over and over, trying to decode why someone we cared about behaved in a way that hurt us. We hope that if we could just make them see our point of view, the pain would dissolve."

When painful events such as rejection, disappointment, humiliation, betrayal, or exclusion occur, they often create emotional wounds rather than traumatic injuries. Emotional wounds are real and impactful even when they do not involve threat, terror, or a survival-focused nervous system. These wounds live in parts of the system tied to pain and meaning, making the world feel uncertain and tender rather than dangerous. Emotional wounds subtly change confidence in relationships, trust in others' intentions, and willingness to be seen. People can appear regulated while rehearsing memories and seeking explanations, which often keeps the wound active.

Read at Psychology Today