"Has this happened to you? You run into someone, and they ask about something that you shared with them that was painful. They start talking about it, and there you go, hurting again? You weren't thinking about it, and the next thing you know, it hurts like it just happened. There are occasions - holidays and family gatherings - where the effects of a past painful experience will reemerge and trigger emotional pain all over again."
"If that isn't bad enough, sometimes just talking about a painful experience, reliving it in your mind, can feel like you're hurt all over again and actually re-injured. There are times when we ruminate or dwell on the past - about hurtful things people have said or done to us - and, in doing so, we relive the pain. We think about what we should have said, wanted to say, or what we did say that could have been better."
Encountering reminders of past hurt — a question about a painful event, certain holidays or family gatherings, or the presence of someone who caused harm — can abruptly re-trigger emotional pain as if it just happened. Talking about or mentally reliving a painful experience can either function as processing and desensitizing for some people or act as re-injury for others. Rumination about what was said or done often prolongs and intensifies suffering. Individual differences determine whether revisiting past pain promotes healing or causes further harm, so personal assessment is necessary.
Read at Psychology Today
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